The New Couch
by Cass-Tastic
Summary: Kakuzu is rather perturbed when he is made to move a couch, and the day just keeps getting better. Request for Kisamex RATED M!


A/N: Hullo! Cass-tastic is back, with a request for the lovely Kisamex, who requested a Kakuzu/Hidan oneshot from me, and I gladdy accepted. Though, I had doubts as no inspiration came for me, and then we got this new couch and we just all enjoyed laying on it so much, that it got me to writing, and this abomination was born. Well, it's now 4 in the morning...Wonderous.

Hope you like it Kisamex!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of these charries, else this would have happened. More than once.

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"Damn it, Hidan, this is my day off and you're making me move a couch...At six in the morning?! What the hell are you even doing awake right now?? I mean c'mon! This is just plain ludacris!" Kakuzu threw his hands up in the air, looking at the couch that sat outside the house Hidan, his boyfriend of six months, had just gotten this morning, and then to the pouting boy. "You honestly expect me to move this into your house right now?" he asked, hand on hip, and glaring at the boy.  
"If you don't want to help me then fuck off! It's not like I could just leave it outside! Someone might try to use it! Or even worse, they'd steal it!" the boy crossed his arms across his chest, then shivered some. It was cold at this early point in the morning! Who would have known? Well, Kakuzu surely did. He sighed, shaking his head, and shooing the boy for the door.

"Go on, get inside and go back to bed. When you wake up, there'll be a new couch in your living room." he mentally kicked himself for letting the boy off so easy, but the poor thing was barely standing, and colder than a naked mole rat in a blizzard. The boy looked at him curiously for a moment, then grinned broadly and leaned up, kissing his cloth covered cheek and scurrying into the house to return to his warm bed.

With the boy gone, Kakuzu returned to the task at hand. He sighed, taking one end and lifting it and strategically dragging it into the house, pushing the old couch out the back door. He groaned, flopping down on the couch, now standing in for a proper bed, after his labor was completed and promptly closing his eyes to go to sleep.

Kakuzu's plan failed miserably though, as his alarm on his phone went off, meaning he needed to go to work. With a groan, he stood and bid the incredibly comfortable couch a farewell and slunk from the house, a scowl on his face. Hidan would pay for this...Dearly. Oh so very dearly.

By the time he got to work, he was five minutes late, and his boss was pissed. Some thing about the wife not happy with him, and he was PMSing on everybody at work and what not, but either way, Kakuzu somehow managed to land his sorry ass right into the line of fire. Smashing.

It was about lunch time, not quite though, that Kakuzu recieved a phone call. He groaned, picking up the phone, "Hello?"

"Are you Kakuzu Minami?" A dull voice asked.

"Hai, that's me..."

"This is Satomi Kasumi, I'm a receptionist at the Bay View Hospital, it would seem your friend...Hidan Mikoto has fallen down a flight of stairs. He's being seen by a- Hello? Minami-san? Hello??"

Kakuzu was already to his car, and starting the engine. He sped from the parking lot, narrowly missing his boss as he drove away, though he had every intention of hitting him, the slippery fucker just made it across. But that was of little importance right now as Kakuzu booked it down the interstate to the hospital, pretending to follow an ambulance most of the way for cover.

When at the hospital, he nearly pounced on the receptionist who was taking the world's longest time to locate his boyfriend's room, and she couldn't even tell him if Hidan was alright or not!! Once he finally got the room number, he was gone in a flash, down the hall. He liked to have killed the damn receptionist who had taken so long, Hidan could have died three times in the stretch of time! The thought of Hidan dead though, was not pleasant on Kakuzu's mind and he quickly abolished said thought.

He stopped infront of room two twenty-five, just as the receptionist had told him, and was met with a pink haired girl with green eyes. She smiled sweetly, "Are you his friend he talked about?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Yes, yes, is Hidan okay? He's not going to die or anything? Right? Right?" he looked at the girl anxiously and she giggled, opening the door for him to see.

"No, no, he's going to be fine. He just sprained his ankle. We gave him a few pain killers and bandaged the ankle and he went right to sleep. You're free to take him on home, if you'll just sign these papers." She held them out to Kakuzu and he signed them without a second glance, then walked over and gently lifted the boy into his arms, bringing the other's head to rest on his shoulder. He thanked the doctor, then quickly made his way from the hospital, ignoring the blonde girl who was following him all the way to the door, complaining that Hidan had to leave in a wheel chair.

It wasn't long after that Hidan woke up, wrapped in the arms of none other than his boyfriend, Kakuzu, who was trying to doze off, but at the sight of an awake and alert Hidan, he snapped from his haze. "Oh, good evening sleeping beauty." he greeted, a small smirk on his lips. Hidan pouted, sticking his tongue out.

"How'd I get here from the damn hospital?? You didn't leave work did you? Fuck, You're boss said he'd fire you if you did!" Hidan frowned, worry creasing his face. Kakuzu chuckled, kissing his lips gently.

"Don't worry about it, babe, I tried to run him over anyways. I think he knows I quit." He yawned, stretching. "How does your ankle feel?" he asked, playing with a strand of the boy's hair now.

"Fuck my ankle-"

"Can do!"

He batted the other's head with his hand, "You're out of work! You can barely afford the fucking rent at your place with a full pay check! How are you going to do it now?? I mean...The only damn thing you can do is move in with me or something!"

"Not a half bad idea." Kakuzu grinned at him, kissing his lips again, and watching Hidan's eyes light up.

"Really? Really, really?...Like...For real, really??" he said, sitting up now and looking excited. Kakuzu had refused to move in with him three first three times Hidan had offered, but now he'd finally said yes! Yahoo! "A-fucking-mazing!!" he cheered, a grin on his face so big, Kakuzu feared he might explode.

"Okay, okay, cool your jets. Take it easy for a bi-" He was cut off by a pair of lips firmly attached to his own, and a tongue invading the oh so welcoming inside of his mouth. Hidan moaned into the other's mouth as Kakuzu easily asserted his dominance and flipped the boy over, pinning him to the couch, the little Albino's hands above his hand. When he broke for air, he asked, "Is this okay on the new couch?"

"Well, we have to sleep on the bed, oh smart one." Hidan smirked, bucking his hips up and grinding them against Kakuzu's. The man moaned aloud, and began to molest the boy's neck ravenously, then ripped his shirt from his body, and his hands roamed the boy's newly exposed skin. He nipped and sucked and licked every inch he could till Hidan was almost screaming his name.

Hidan looked at the man through dark, lust induced eyes as two fingers were presented to him which he eagerly took into his mouth and sucked and swirled his tongue upon till they were adequetly lubricated, and only then noticed, neither he nor Kakuzu were wearing pants, or boxers for that matter, anymore. Man, Kakuzu worked fast...

He shuddered as a finger pressed at his entrance and slowly into him, stretching his tight ring. He tried to relax and spread his legs as far apart for Kakuzu as possible, giving the man access to him as he was scissored open at the moment, then a third finger was added and he began moaning Kakuzu's name, enjoying this feel good moment, for he knew this next part would hurt some.

Now that he was all stretched, Kakuzu readied himself at Hidan's entrance and slowly began to wiggle in. Hidan bit back a cry and choked on the upcoming sob. A few tears trickled from his eyes but he soon felt all this pass as Kakuzu moved gently inside him and kissed his neck gently.

"Nnn...Harder! Faster!" he ordered, wiggling some and pressing down onto Kakuzu, who eagerly obliged, picking up the pace at a break neck speed and was soon pounding into Hidan as his hand travelled between them and grasped the boy's member, stroking him roughly. Hidan was screaming in pleasure, now, moaning Kakuzu's name.

"Ah! Fuck me! Shit, h-harder! Ye-yes!!" he cried, "C-cuming...!!" he said as he came into Kakuzu's hand, and clenched down on Kakuzu, making the other moan louder and follow suit, filling Hidan with his seed. After a moment, Kakuzu rolled off Hidan and cleaned his hand with his tongue a satisfied look on his face.

Hidan panted, "Fuck...Get me a catalog...I need more furniture and a bigger flight of stairs..." he said before snuggling into Kakuzu's side, yawning and falling back to sleep. Kakuzu chuckled, smiling lazily and closing his eyes as well, letting sleep take over for him.

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Read and review loves! Cass-tastic is heading to BED!!

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